Care Conversations 10 – Let us not Confuse Discipline with Punishment
It might be helpful to consider a couple of words which are sometimes used inter-changeably but are actually very different in meaning. If we use them as synonyms our understanding of discipline will be faulty.
The words are ‘Discipline and Punishment’.
We’ve had four children – we know what it means to be angry and hurt sometimes with regard to our children’s negative attitudes and behaviours. We know the temptations to cause them pain as retribution – sorry to disappoint you, but these feelings have risen to the surface of our lives many times as our children were growing up. How about you?
We have had to look to God to know how to deal with these troubling situations. We have actually come to see that behavioural problems, often arising from a rebellious heart, can be opportunities for meaningful learning and growth in the depth of relationship for us and them.
It’s also true that situations with students in various classrooms over the years have engendered feelings of anger, disappointment and frustration. I have had to seriously discipline myself to not act unwisely as a consequence of those feelings.
Consider these two phrases:
- The Lord disciplines those whom He loves…[1]
- The Lord punishes those whom He loves…
Not quite the same, are they?
They actually have different motivations, different purposes and different outcomes.
Punishment satisfies the one who is offended; Discipline benefits the offender.
Whereas the purpose of punishment is to inflict a penalty for an offense, the purpose of discipline is to train for correction and maturity.
Let’s try to look at these concepts Biblically.
“…He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.”[2]
Every wrong behaviour, every rebellious thought, every harmful or immoral action is an offence against God before it is a wound for people.
God is the only Being who has a right to judge – and He chooses to deal with judgement’s righteous penalty through Jesus.
Knowing that punishment is the prerogative of the Triune God, we are left with a clear approach to discipline.
Enough to think about this week. Let’s pick it up again next time.
Blessings,
Brian
[1] Hebrews 12:6
[2] Isaiah 53:5-6